Dingbot

I caucused

2008-02-09T23:37:43Z

Total delegates allocated in my West Seattle precinct:

Obama: 4
Clinton: 2

Seriously

2008-01-23T01:14:53Z

Not that I'm even that personally affected, but come on:

THE WORLD IS NOT A CONTEST FOR WHO CAN BE MOST JADED ABOUT CELEBRITY DEATHS.

I'm all about not taking things too seriously, but there's a point where ironic distance starts to seem pathological.

12-17-3

2008-01-22T20:52:12Z

There's a paperclip stuck in the wheel of my chair.

It sounds like a baseball card in a bicycle wheel when I roll around.

That is all.

Stuck in my head today

2007-12-18T18:50:57Z

Bucks Fizz - The Land of Make Believe (1981)

This was apparently on a list of 100 worst videos ever, but it seems like a standard level of insanity for the 80s to me.

Unneeded concerns

2007-12-06T19:37:57Z

To the smelly man yelling downtown this morning:

I'm quite sure there are no "fuckin' homosexuals" looking at you, particularly not in the way that makes you so upset. You can safely cross that off your list of things to be paranoid about.

Things that are not on the internet

2007-11-30T03:36:49Z

1. The lyrics to C+C Music Factory's 1990 song "Bang That Beat"

However, robotdeer did find one thing on the internet I've been looking for forever: the 1984 arcade game Noah's Ark. It must have been the least profitable arcade game ever, because it is impossible to play for less than ten minutes on a single token. I played that every time at Chuck E. Cheese's long after I was too tall for its half-size arcade cabinet and had to play on my knees.

Bang bang

2007-11-29T15:59:30Z

Now that I have a portable video device and I've been riding the bus so I have a place where I can watch, I've
been checking out video podcasts. Which leads me to a couple of questions:

1) Are there any good video podcasts? and
2) I downloaded some Attack of the Show podcasts, and they're strangely obsessed with (hot women) firing guns.

Which leads me to

View Poll: They love to see you shoot

More confusing than I thought

2007-10-17T22:36:42Z

Assuming you were talking to someone today:

View Poll: Time

And I think we can all agree that "this past December" and "last December" mean December 2006. Right? Right.

Little Boxes

2007-10-02T00:56:23Z

If you were ever thinking of moving to the town of Overland Park, Kansas, watch out for the gravel nazis:

How should I maintain an existing gravel driveway?
The surface of the parking area must consist of a uniform layer of gravel evenly distributed from edge to edge, and must be free of bare spots and vegetation. The depth of the gravel layer must be an average of 2 inches and a minimum of one inch.

How much time is allowed to correct a violation?
A violation must be corrected within 15 days. Failure to do so may result in a notice to appear in municipal court. The penalty is a fine of up to $500 or six months imprisonment or both.

6 months in jail for incorrect gravel depth? That shit is hardcore. I think Money Magazine has a slightly different definition of "best" places to live than I do.

Storyman scares me

2007-09-18T15:54:56Z

I think there may be something wrong with me. I've somehow ended up with TEN DVDS of Once Upon a Hamster.

Things I say and do in my sleep (a continuing series)

2007-08-25T23:38:08Z

Me:         I can make a board!
Matty:     You can make a board?
Me:         I guess so. We have one now.

Me:          <pushes Matty> Ruckamoffa!

Mao indeed

2007-06-21T23:40:27Z

Haha... this turned out to be the Laugh-Out-Loud Cat he sent me the original of:

And it's the only one that has an associated letter! So awesome.

This is what it feels like inside my head today

2007-06-18T23:53:47Z

Woohoo! My monkey's up!

2007-06-18T17:15:38Z

Well, mine as in drawn for me. It's Duncan the Escaped Helper Monkey:

Now to see which Laugh-Out-Loud Cat turns out to be mine.

Inquiring minds

2007-06-14T18:21:55Z

Upon watching this video:

View Poll: #1003245

Phantasmagorical

2007-06-02T20:53:56Z

Having never seen Hugo the Hippo, it looks like I've missed out on some serious insanity:

It's all so obvious

2007-05-26T22:50:17Z

I'm a bit behind the times here, but I don't know why people keep saying symbiote-infected Peter Parker looks like Jared Leto or any other random guy in eyeliner. It's so clear that he looks exactly like

Genesis P-Orridge. You know, without the breast implants and purposefully indeterminate gender, but it's uncanny.

I don't think I ever mentioned it before, but Genesis puts on an amazing live show. With his/her vast discography of experimental and otherwise inaccessible music, you'd expect something meandering and maybe even hard to watch (kind of like the terrible Sonic Youth show at Bumbershoot a few years back). Instead, s/he picks the crowd-pleasing pop songs (yes, s/he has some) and can really play and play the audience. Just don't be scared of everyone in the crowd with TOPY tattoos. They're actually very nice people.

The guy behind me at the movie theater

2007-05-18T21:19:50Z

"He's so talented that he'll do dozens of takes, changing his comic timing by 5 milliseconds each time so they can pick the best one. I bet it's like a bell curve - no, it's like a sine wave, with a funny one here, another one here, and another one here."

Hot Rock

2007-04-05T07:35:21Z

So, you've got your typical rock band setup: lead singer, guitarist, bassist, and drummer, with whatever gender composition works for you. Even though I'm sure it's not 100% of the time, I bet you have a favorite:

View Poll: #960747

Food, British Style

2007-04-04T20:04:42Z

Hello. I am currently watching the first episode of Neneh Cherry's new cooking show. She has not used the opportunity to make anything raw like sushi. (Other possible menus: buffalo, trout).

Before her guests arrive, she and her cohost are buying "something special for them because they're coming from far away." That something special is... underwear.

Neneh, I love you! But more music, please!

Speaking of food, let's say that you're a UK grocery store, trying to convince your shoppers that you're upscale and giving them delicacies from all over the world. You want to impress people with the exclusive foods you've brought to the country, and you better make it special, since you're painting your boast on the wall. So, what do you write?

"We were the first to bring you... iceberg lettuce."

Haiku, based on a true story

2007-04-04T06:42:28Z

Helicopter flies
overhead; I move so it
doesn't poop on me

On the Way to the Airport

2007-04-02T13:04:06Z

My cab driver: "I once had Bill Gates in my cab. I think he smelled the liquor on my breath, though, because he didn't leave a great tip."

Favorite album cover of the year (so far)

2007-01-31T19:58:54Z

GIVE ME ROBOT

2007-01-25T01:45:16Z

Asimo, I love you, but can you rollerskate or skateboard? Plen can.

Stop

2007-01-17T18:51:13Z